Spike's Choice
by Mrs Muir
Summary: This is the sequel to An Argument in a Bathroom. It is now two years later and Spike comes back to Sunnydale with the upper hand. Will he use it for good or will he use to exact revenge on the ones that hurt him?
1. Changes

1 Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayers Gift  
  
  
  
Summary: This is the sequel to "An Argument in a Bathroom". It is now two years later and Spike comes back to Sunnydale with the upper hand. Will he use it for good or will he use to exact revenge on those that hurt him?  
  
  
  
Rating: R for right now  
  
  
  
Spoilers: Set after Season 6  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
  
  
  
***************************************************************** *******  
  
Chapter One: Changes  
  
  
  
Buffy heard voices from outside and went to look out her bedroom window. She smiled when she saw that the voices belonged to Xander, Anya and Willow. She went back to the mirror to make sure she looked okay. As she stared at her reflection she realized that it had been two years today. Two years since Spike had left. After their argument in the bathroom he had simply vanished. Even Clem hadn't heard from him in all this time.  
  
So much had changed since those days. Since the year they had brought her back. The year they had fallen apart on their way to growing up.  
  
Today was Dawn's graduation day. That was why everybody was assembling here today. So, they could all go as a family to the ceremony. And they were family. The bonds forged in the aftermath of Willow's fall into madness and Tara's death. They had come together stronger than ever. But for Dawn and her there was an empty spot where Spike should have been.  
  
After much talking and fighting Xander and Anya realized they were meant to be together. They had slipped away to Las Vegas last March and gotten married.  
  
Willow was still mourning Tara but had slowly started to rebuild her life. She had spent time in a rehabilitation clinic getting her self back together. But she had come back healthy and emotionally stronger. She had gone back to college and graduated at the top of her class. Now she was teaching a computer class at the high school.  
  
"Buffy, everybody's here are you ready?" Dawn was standing in the doorway looking at her expectantly.  
  
Buffy looked over at her and nodded yes. Then walking over to her sister she reached out to pull her into a hug.  
  
"You look beautiful and all grown up." She told her.  
  
Her little sister had been her saving grace for all this time. Buffy had kept her word and poured her heart into raising Dawn. She had quit the Double Meat and taken a job in the school office so they could have the same schedule. Dawn now patrolled alongside Buffy and was really good at it. She had grown to be a beautiful and competent young woman.  
  
Buffy pulled back when she realized she had been hugging her a little too long.  
  
"You okay?" Dawn questioned her.  
  
"Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking about all the changes in the last couple of years." Buffy smiled at her and took her hand.  
  
Dawn hesitated making Buffy turn back to her.  
  
"Still missing him?" She asked.  
  
Buffy looked into her eyes startled at her sister's perception. Then she quickly looked away from Dawn's prying eyes.  
  
"It's over and done with. Come on, we have guests and you have a graduation to get to!" Buffy announced pulling Dawn with her down the hall.  
  
Once they got downstairs Dawn was quickly engulfed in hugs and well wishes from everybody. The only person missing from the celebration was Giles. He hadn't been able to attend because Olivia was due to give birth to their baby any day. But he had sent Dawn a present. It was a sword that he had custom made just for her. Her initials were encrusted on the handle with her birthstone.  
  
"Well, Dawnie, you ready to greet the real world and be grownups like us?" Xander asked with a grin.  
  
"Like you guys are grownups!" Dawn joked back.  
  
"Well I don't know about anybody else but I feel really damn old." Willow stated.  
  
"You are not old," Dawn replied hugging her surrogate sister.  
  
"No you're not old. Because you're the same age as Buffy and Xander and if you're old then they're old and I just don't think that 23 is old. Not when you have been around for over 1200 years like me." Anya prattled.  
  
The group smiled fondly at the ex-vengeance demon. That was one thing that hadn't changed was Anya's speeches. But no one thought of them as annoying or stupid anymore. They were something they could count on and know that it was a part of them.  
  
Xander reached out and put an arm around his wife. They exchanged one of those married couple secret looks. The others looked away and Willow started to ask Dawn about the ceremony when there was a knock on the door.  
  
"That must be the limo driver." Buffy remarked as she went to open the door.  
  
"Oh my God, you got a limo! Oh my God Buffy I don't believe it" Dawn squealed.  
  
Buffy opened the door for the driver and turned to the others.  
  
"Let's go everybody." Buffy turned to reach for her coat but was stopped by Dawn excitedly hugging her. "It's your special day and you deserve to be treated special." Buffy whispered to her sister.  
  
"You gotta hand one to the Buffster she definitely knows how to celebrate!" Xander complimented Buffy.  
  
"Yeah really, she's our party girl with style!" Willow agreed.  
  
Buffy smiled indulgently at her friends as they all climbed into the white car. She wasn't a party girl by any means but celebration she knew. Each moment of life was special and things like Dawn's graduation had to be celebrated fully! You never got a second chance and if you didn't grab it and savor it, it would be gone.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	2. After the Ceremony

1 Chapter 2 – After the Ceremony  
  
Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift  
  
  
  
Summary: This is the sequel to "An Argument in a Bathroom". It is now two years later and Spike comes back to Sunnydale with the upper hand. Will he use it for good or will he use it to exact revenge on those that hurt him?  
  
  
  
Rating: R for right now  
  
  
  
Spoilers: Set two years after Season Six  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and  
  
Mutant Enemy  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The graduation ceremony went off without any problems. Thankfully, the mayor now was an ordinary human with no designs of being a big snake. Dawn accepted her diploma gracefully. As she walked across the stage she could hear her family cheering wildly. The only regret of the day was that her Mom and Tara weren't here. Buffy had given her a ring of their mothers to wear and Willow had offered a pair of Tara's earrings. So, she could feel close to them even with them not being here.  
  
After their caps had been thrown into the air and everyone was leaving, Dawn went in search of Buffy and the others. She wasn't supposed to know about the special evening they had planned but she had over heard Buffy making reservations for dinner at a really nice restaurant. She knew how lucky she was to have a family like theirs. A family bonded together by love and sacrifice, not necessarily by blood.  
  
Dawn spotted them at the back of the auditorium and went running up to them. She threw her arms around Buffy and laughed.  
  
"I'm free, I'm free, I am, oh, so free!" Dawn chanted.  
  
She pulled herself away from Buffy and then threw herself at Xander and Anya. Laughing they wrapped their arms around her.  
  
"Happy, huh?" Xander questioned needlessly.  
  
Then Willow was next on the hug chain. She wrapped her arms tightly around Dawn as tears flowed down her cheeks. Grateful did not begin to cover how she felt that Dawn had forgiven her for threatening to turn her back into green energy. And everyday in some way she made sure that Dawn knew that Willow loved her.  
  
"Don't cry, Will, it's happy day!" Dawn kissed Willow on the cheek and pulled her into a tighter hug.  
  
Then the other three threw themselves into the hug with Dawn in the middle.  
  
She started laughing, "I can't breathe."  
  
The others pulled away giving the younger girl room for air. Then Dawn's eyes opened in surprise looking beyond the group.  
  
"Look…it's" She started to stammer pointing behind Willow and Buffy.  
  
"Hello Niblet."  
  
The others turned in astonishment as Spike walked through them toward Dawn. He stopped and pulled the girl into a hug of his own. Dawn just stood there for a moment in shock. Then she wrapped her arms around the vampire. Dawn started to cry as Spike stroked her hair. It just didn't seem possible that he was actually here.  
  
"Did ya think I would miss this day?" He whispered in her ear.  
  
After a moment Spike and Dawn pulled back to look at each other. He gently wiped the tears from her face.  
  
"I didn't think I would ever see you again. Where have you been?" Dawn waited expectantly for an explanation.  
  
"Later. Today is for you. Tomorrow is enough for explanation," Spike answered.  
  
He pulled back to look at the others. They were looking at him with mixed emotions. Xander was expectedly angry. Anya was uncomfortable. Willow was standing with an arm wrapped around Buffy's waist. Willow looked ready to battle him if he threatened Buffy. And Buffy looked stricken. She was staring at the floor as if she was afraid to look at him.  
  
"Well, good to see the lot of you, too." Spike said looking around at the Scoobies.  
  
"What are you doing here? Did you think that we would welcome you back?" Xander asked angrily.  
  
Buffy looked up at Dawn knowing that her sister was glad he was here. She reached out a hand toward Xander grabbing his arm gently making him look at her.  
  
"Not now. Today is for Dawn. We can work this all out later." Buffy said not realizing that she had echoed Spike's words.  
  
Buffy looked up at Spike finding him staring at her with those intense blue eyes. He was surprised that she hadn't agreed with Xander.  
  
"We were just leaving for a celebration for Dawn. Would you like to join us?" She asked Spike surprising him again.  
  
"I would be delighted to share in Dawn's celebration." He replied reaching out to put an arm around the graduate.  
  
The others stood and watched the exchange going on between Buffy and Spike. They couldn't believe she had asked him to join them. And that he had accepted! This was going to be a strange evening. But if it made Dawn happy then they would make it work.  
  
Buffy turned to walk out to the limousine, Willow still holding onto her. Xander and Anya were next. Then Spike followed with Dawn still tucked under arm.  
  
"Did she miss me?" He questioned Dawn nodding toward Buffy.  
  
"Yeah. But I didn't tell you." Dawn answered conspiratorially.  
  
Spike smiled in anticipation. Getting reacquainted with the Slayer was going to be fun. 


	3. Spike has Fun

1 Chapter 3 – Spike Has Fun  
  
  
  
Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift  
  
Summary: This is the sequel to "An Argument in a Bathroom". It is now two years later and Spike comes back to Sunnydale with the upper hand. Will he use it for good or will he use it to exact revenge on those that hurt him?  
  
  
  
Rating: R for right now  
  
  
  
Spoilers: Set two years after Season Six  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and  
  
Mutant Enemy  
  
************************************************************************  
  
  
  
The ride to the restaurant was awkward for everyone except Dawn. She sat next to Spike talking nonstop, detailing everything that had happened since she had last seen him. Although he knew everything he didn't have the heart to stop her. He dropped in the appropriate responses at the right time so she would know he was listening.  
  
Buffy sat across from them trying to avoid looking at him. He was staring at her legs. When she had crawled into the limo her skirt had ridden up her thighs giving him a magnificent view.  
  
Spike glanced up at Buffy to make sure that she didn't notice his perusal. Then looking quickly around at the group to see what they were doing. He chuckled because they were paying no attention to him. His tongue darted out to lick his lower lip as he turned his gaze back to Buffy's limbs. Then the memories drifted over him. Memories of those legs wrapped around his waist as they moved together toward ecstasy. He groaned softly and rubbed his hand across his eyes.  
  
"Spike, are you listening?" Dawn clutched at his sleeve.  
  
Everyone turned to look at him because as usual Dawn was talking at full volume. Figuring out what had taken his attention from Dawn, Willow nudged Buffy drawing her attention to the condition of her skirt. Buffy tugged her skirt down and pulled her coat around her.  
  
Buffy looked at Spike angrily, "You are still a pig. Thought you might have changed some but I should have known."  
  
"Can't blame a man for looking at what is right in front of him." He chuckled at her discomfort.  
  
"But you are not a man…." Xander started alone but then Spike joined him for the rest, "You are nothing but an evil soulless thing."  
  
Xander looked like he wanted to punch Spike.  
  
"Are you sure about that mate?" Spike asked the frustrated young man.  
  
All their heads turned to him in surprise.  
  
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Later. I apologize it I offended you but you know memories." Spike offered as an apology.  
  
Green eyes met blue ones in a moment of fire. Spike raised an eyebrow at her as if to ask if she remembered too. Buffy turned away from his gaze with hurt in her eyes. Making him wonder what was going on with her. It was twice now that she had turned from his gaze.  
  
Knowing that it was best to drop it for now Spike turned to Dawn, "Go ahead Little Bit. You were talking about Janice and the prom."  
  
Dawn smiled cheerfully. Spike had been listening even if he had been ogling Buffy. Then she launched into more information about her life and friends.  
  
The only sound for the rest of the ride was Dawn's monologue. At the restaurant Spike crawled out last. Letting Xander be the gentleman and help the ladies from the car. He followed them into the restaurant and hung back as they made their way to their table. As they chose seats they left him sitting in the corner across from Willow and sitting next to Dawn. Anya and Xander sat on the side with Willow and Buffy sat on the other side of Dawn.  
  
Dawn turned to her sister pleading. "Buffy, can I have a glass of champagne? Please, I'm 18 now and it's my graduation."  
  
Buffy smiled affectionately at her sister, "Okay you can have one glass. Let's see what they have and maybe we can all have a glass to toast you."  
  
But Buffy knew that it would all depend on the price. But when the waiter came over to take their order, Spike spoke up and requested a bottle of their best champagne. Buffy opened her mouth to protest.  
  
"It's my contribution for the evening. Only the best for lil' sis" He stated asking Buffy with his eyes not to refuse it.  
  
"Well, then, thank you." She answered him.  
  
Dawn smiled and reached out to squeeze both their hands. The Scoobies looked across the table at the three of them linked by Dawn. Her sister's innocent gesture made Buffy's heart ache from dreams unfulfilled. If she hadn't been so blind two years ago maybe they would be a family now instead of distant strangers.  
  
Spike played the part of a gentleman for the rest of the evening. He put Dawn's needs and wants first, and subtly tried to annoy the other four. But it started to wan thin as the others talked. He could hear the pain they had gone endured and the joy they had shared come through in their voices as they talked through the meal. Twirling the champagne glass between his fingers he remembered how much he had wanted to be a part of them. And how much they had rejected him. Especially Buffy.  
  
He was tired and ready to go somewhere to be alone. Glancing up he saw Willow gazing at him. Was that concern he saw in her eyes? Surely not, but then again she had never seemed to hate him as much as the others. A tentative smile crossed her face and he smiled in return.  
  
Before he could analyze the gesture anymore the waiter brought the bill. Buffy reached into her purse for her wallet but Spike motioned for the waiter to hand him the check. He laid a credit card on the tray and gave it back to the server. No one at the table said a word. There were a hundred questions in their eyes as to where he had gotten a credit card but Spike didn't offer an explanation. Let them wonder. 


	4. Dreams in the Night

1 Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayers Gift  
  
  
  
Summary: This is the sequel to "An Argument in a Bathroom". It is now two years later and Spike comes back to Sunnydale with the upper hand. Will he use it for good or will he use to exact revenge on those that hurt him?  
  
  
  
Rating: R for right now  
  
  
  
Spoilers: Set after Season 6  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
  
  
  
2 ************************************************************************  
  
3  
  
4 Chapter 4 – Dreams of the Night  
  
Needing to be alone Spike took leave of the others outside the restaurant. It was going to take some time to adjust to seeing them all again. He walked through the streets of Sunnydale getting reacquainted with his old haunts. But mostly he just wandered thinking of the changes that everyone had gone through. Especially Buffy she seemed to be happier and more contented than when he left. But there was something not quite right and he couldn't figure out what it was.  
  
Eventually he headed toward his old crypt wondering if anyone was living there. He hesitated at the door wondering if he should knock or not. But after deciding not to he pushed gently at the door glancing around before stepping in. He noticed that some of his old furniture was there but there was also new pieces.  
  
"Hello, who is there?" Clem called from the lower floor. He cautiously looked around before continuing to the main level.  
  
"Clem, old boy, still watching my place?" Spike exclaimed.  
  
"Spike" Clem came hurrying over to his old friend hugging him in hello.  
  
They pounded each other on the back awkwardly. They stood back and looked each other over. Clem nodded in approval at the changes he saw in the vampire. Spike was no longer dressed all in black. He was wearing blue jeans, a white button down shirt and a blue dress jacket. His hair was darker now with blond highlights and was no longer plastered to his head.  
  
"You are looking good old buddy!" Clem said nodding.  
  
"Thanks," Spike answered but wondered if Buffy had noticed. She hadn't given any indication of it if she had.  
  
  
  
Buffy lay curled up in her bed clutching her pillow to her. She wasn't sure how she felt about Spike being back. There was a curl of fear in her gut. Not of Spike but of being near Spike. He had been so angry with her when he had left. She had so vehemently told him that she didn't love him and that she wanted him to go. She denied her feelings all because he was a vampire without a soul.  
  
"Damn it!" Buffy swore tossing her pillow to the floor and flipping over onto her back.  
  
She lay there counting sheep but the sheep kept turning into a particular blond vampire. It seemed that this night was never going to end.  
  
  
  
Spike took the glass of whiskey that Clem offered him. The demon took the chair across from him and took a sip of his drink.  
  
"Well, friend, where have you been?" Clem asked.  
  
"Everywhere and nowhere." Spike said vaguely.  
  
Until he had spoken to the Summer's women he didn't want to let anyone know.  
  
"So, what have you been up to?" Spike asked turning the conversation to his friend.  
  
Clem launched into stories that only Clem could tell catching Spike up on all the demon activity in Sunnydale. The two friends spent the next several hours exchanging stories and catching up.  
  
Finally Spike stood up. "I need to get back to my hotel and get some rest."  
  
"Okay, are you sure you don't want your old crypt back?" Clem offered hesitantly.  
  
He only asked out of respect but he was hoping Spike wouldn't take him up on it. It had become his home since the vampire had left.  
  
"No, you keep it. It's been yours longer than it was mine." He answered.  
  
After a couple more good-byes Spike left and made his way back to his room at the hotel.  
  
  
  
Buffy tossed in her sleep, her legs getting tangled in the covers. She was dreaming. Dreaming of Spike. Of the way he had looked. He had come back looking better than ever. She dreamed of him holding her, touching her, taking her to the edge over and over. Then walking away from her. She cried out his name asking him to come back to her. But he never did. He left her like they all did. Because she drove them away.  
  
Suddenly Buffy sat up in her bed, tears running down her face. Then the sobs came choking her with their force. She curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep. She wondered why she was always alone?  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Spike closed the hotel room door behind him. As he walked toward the bathroom he kicked off his shoes and stripped off his shirt. After taking a leak he pulled his jeans the rest of the way off tossing them onto a chair on his way to the bed. Lying back with his hands behind his head he stared at the ceiling. But all he saw was her face. He wished he could remember her laughing. He remembered her in anger, in fear and in passion but he couldn't remember her smiles. He closed his eyes hoping that sleep would come and not the dream.  
  
But as he drifted off he heard her voice calling his name. If he wished really hard he could feel her small hand on his stomach. Feel her lips touching his and her tongue asking to be let into his mouth. He sighed resignedly and let himself fall into the dream. 


	5. The Explanation

1 Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayers Gift  
  
  
  
Summary: This is the sequel to "An Argument in a Bathroom". It is now two years later and Spike comes back to Sunnydale with the upper hand. Will he use it for good or will he use to exact revenge on those that hurt him?  
  
  
  
Rating: R for right now  
  
  
  
Spoilers: Set after Season 6  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
  
  
  
***************************************************************** *******  
  
2 Chapter 5 – The Explanation  
  
Spike hesitated briefly before knocking on the front door. It was hard to be back here. This was where so much pain had occurred. Even though invited in he had always been left out. Only wanted when they had use for him.  
  
Buffy opened the door almost as soon as he pulled his hand away from the knocker. When she saw that it was Spike she stepped back in a silent invitation. Instead of entering he stayed where he was on the porch.  
  
"You have to invite me in." He reminded her softly. After all this time and all that had happened she had to have uninvited him.  
  
She looked up at him a soft smile on her lips. "The invitation was never taken off."  
  
Stepping cautiously through the door he kept his head bent so Buffy wouldn't see the surprise on his face.  
  
"I hope you don't mind that I invited the others over. I thought that telling the story only once would be better." She said leading the way into the living room.  
  
"Safer too." He replied knowing that she would be more comfortable with everyone there instead of just the three of them.  
  
She glanced back quizzingly at his remark.  
  
The others were already gathered in the living room. He could feel their gaze as Dawn came over to give him a reassuring hug. Taking him by the hand she led him to a chair across from the couch. Buffy and Dawn flanked him on both sides.  
  
Barely giving him a chance to get settled Xander questioned him sarcastically. "So, Spike, share your story. Enlighten us with your journey since we've last seen you."  
  
"Xander, give him a chance." Willow admonished Xander. Then turning to Spike she asked. "Would you like a drink or something?"  
  
Spike smiled gratefully at Willow as he declined her offer. The feeling of support from last night must have been right. He felt a little bit better at having someone else on his side besides Dawn. Buffy was still an enigma but he didn't think she would be that way for long.  
  
"Spike, where have you been? And why didn't you stay in touch?" Dawn asked prodding him from his thoughts.  
  
"Dawn, I am here mostly to talk to you. But the others can listen if they wish." Spike said to his young friend.  
  
"When I left here I was out to prove a point. Wanted to get my soul back so that the lot of you would see me differently." Spike said. "I ended up in a monastery in the back of nowhere in France. Heard about this place a few times over the years. This bunch of monks are into all sorts of mystical stuff. Figured if anybody could help me get my soul back they could."  
  
Xander snorted and started to say something but Anya hushed him. Then Spike continued.  
  
"Well after I got there the monks asked me a bunch of questions and did all sorts of rites over me." He paused briefly to look around the room. "This is the funny bit….it seems somebody in the cosmos made a mistake. When I died and got turned my soul never went anywhere. It seems its been hiding back behind the vampire part of me."  
  
"That's impossible. Isn't it?" Willow questioned him.  
  
"Not according to the monks it's not." Spike replied.  
  
"But all the things that you did. All the killing" Buffy questioned him disbelievingly.  
  
"Mmmm, it seems after some of your experiences you would know that a soul doesn't necessarily make a person good." Spike reminded her gently.  
  
"But there's more to the tale, kiddies, so keep listening. I spent the next six months with the monks. Studying and what not. Trying to become more enlightened. Then out of the blue Giles contacts me and wants to come to England."  
  
"Wait a minute Giles knew where you were. Why didn't he tell me?" Buffy indignantly asked.  
  
"Did you ask him where I was Luv?" Spike quietly answered her. "I asked Giles to tell you only if you asked. You never asked so he never told."  
  
"Why did Giles want you in England?" Anya spoke up giving Buffy a way to avoid Spike's prying eyes.  
  
"Because the Council wanted to do some testing on my chip. Apparently some demons that had been implanted by the initiative were up to their old tricks. So, off to England I went to have my head examined." Spike paused expecting Xander to pop up with something but the whelp seemed to be waiting. "Found out that the chips stopped working when the computer controlling them were destroyed."  
  
"Are you saying the chip hasn't been working this entire time? What about the pain you were feeling?" Buffy interjected. Everything that she had believed about Spike was all being torn apart.  
  
"Psychological conditioning. I expected the pain so the pain came. It didn't work with Buffy because I convinced myself that she came back wrong." He explained.  
  
Willow looked around the room at everyone's shocked expressions. Turning back to Spike she asked. "Are you telling us that you have always had a soul and that the chip only worked for a short time? So, for the condensed version, you were choosing not to attack people and that you actually wanted to help us."  
  
"Basically" Spike smiled smugly and sat back as his news sank in. 


	6. The Plan

Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: This is a sequel to 'An Argument in a Bathroom'. It is now two years later and Spike has the upper hand. Will he use it for good or to exact revenge on those that hurt him? Rating: R Spoilers: Through season 6  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Chapter 6 - The Plan  
  
  
  
Dawn squealed and reached over to hug Spike. "Congratulations, I am so happy for you! I always knew that you a good guy!"  
  
Spike gave her a funny look and laughed. "Yeah, I think there's a lot of people that would argue with that. Especially in this room."  
  
"Spike, but what does this have to do with me. You said that you were here mostly to talk to me." Dawn asked Spike.  
  
"Yeah, Nibblet there is more. A lot more." Spike answered meeting her inquisitive gaze. "It seems the Council have been bored and are scheming all sorts of new stuff."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and asked, "And what kind of hoops are they going to try and have me jump through now?"  
  
Spike sighed and looked at Buffy sadly. He leaned forward in his chair resting his arms on his thighs and shifted his gaze at the floor. This was going to hurt Buffy and he hated the fact that he had to be the one to tell her. She probably wouldn't believe that Giles and he had fought for her but was constantly overridden. Buffy had always challenged the Council and now they had found a way to for payback.  
  
"Not you, Luv. It seems with Faith being in prison and they can't call a new Slayer they are finding another way to fight the evils of the world without the help of a Slayer." Spike said as gently as he could. He waited for a reaction from Buffy but she just stared at her hands folded primly on her lap.  
  
"Well, exactly how they going to do that without a Slayer?" Xander asked angrily. He couldn't believe that after all that Buffy had done for this world that they would cast her aside.  
  
"They are tracking down independent demon hunters and then hiring the best. Paying them to do what they have always done but now they would do it under the advisement of the Council." He paused for a moment as a worried look crossed Anya's face. He knew what was worrying her. "They are also making a record of which demons are strictly evil and those that decent and working with humans in peace. Like Anya and Clem. They would be off the hit list."  
  
"Thank God. A bunch of demon killing humans running around does not sound safe to me" The demon stated emphatically. They weren't very nice to each other much less to things they didn't understand.  
  
"What does this have to do with me?" Dawn questioned impatiently.  
  
"The Council wants to hire you to work with me. To continue to patrol here in Sunnydale and make reports back to them. You would report to me and I would report to Giles who would then report to the Council." Spike answered taking his gaze from Buffy to look back at Dawn.  
  
"You mean they would pay me money to do what I have been doing all along." Dawn was astonished at the offer. Then a thought hit her. "But why wouldn't they offer Buffy a job. She does it better than anyone. I mean she is a Slayer?"  
  
Spike was looking really uncomfortable and Buffy was still sitting there looking over his shoulder. But he could see the hurt in her eyes.  
  
"They wanted to offer her the chance to quit. To be able to finally have that normal life." He stated quietly.  
  
Buffy stood so suddenly that the kitchen chair she had been sitting in fell over backwards. She quickly left the room and headed toward the kitchen Spike stood righted her chair and started to follow her from the room. Pausing he turned to look at the others over his shoulder asking them to give him a moment with Buffy. When he entered the kitchen she was leaning against the kitchen sink looking out the window.  
  
"Buffy?" Spike came to stand behind her. He wanted to put his arms around her but didn't know how she would respond to that. "Talk to me."  
  
"About what. It seems that once again I am dispensable. Did Giles agree to this?" She turned to look at the vampire standing behind her.  
  
"He didn't have a choice. I didn't have a choice. We were both out voted." Spike said softly.  
  
"So, you, you work for the Council. For how long Spike?" Buffy's voice started to rise and tears were welling up in her eyes.  
  
Spike threw his hands up in the air. He knew that she would be angry and he hated being in this position.  
  
"For a little over a year, pet."  
  
"So, while I was struggling to hold everything together. Dawn, the house, a job and Slaying for the Council, you were getting paid by them. For what, being a lab experiment? Sitting around their table making decisions while I am out there fighting their war. Did anyone offer to pay me? Did anyone help me? No! Just get out of my house, Spike. Don't." Buffy stopped herself and turned from him. He had let her down again. And the pain was ripping through her.  
  
"Don't blame this on me, Buffy. I offered to help you before. Told you that I would take care of you. But you said no and you pushed me away. You knew that if you really wanted to find me you could have. All you had to do was ask but you didn't " Spike roughly told her. He was not going to be her whipping boy anymore. She wasn't going to play Kick the Spike anymore.  
  
He turned and left her crying in the kitchen.  
  
Buffy brought her hands to her face. He just didn't understand that she had been too scared to try to find him. Scared that he would only reject her. No one else had come back so why should he?  
  
She heard the front door slam and knew that he had left. Quickly wiping her eyes before anyone came to find her. It wouldn't do any good for them to find her crying over him. 


	7. The Conversation

Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: This is a sequel to 'An Argument in a Bathroom'. It is now two years later and Spike has the upper hand. Will he use it for good or to exact revenge on those that hurt him? Rating: R Spoilers: Through season 6  
  
Chapter 7 - The Conversation  
  
Buffy sat flanked by her friends who were as outraged as she was. She could hear Dawn talking to Giles in the other room. It just couldn't be true that Spike worked for the Council and to top it off that they actually paid him! Why hadn't Giles told her? To think that Giles would betray her this way didn't ring true. Spike had to be lying. But then again why would he?  
  
Dawn appeared in the doorway phone still in her hand. They all looked at her questioningly.  
  
"It's true. All of it." Dawn looked at Buffy. "Giles said to call him if you wanted to talk."  
  
Willow reached over and put an arm around her friend and Xander took one of her hands in his. She just felt so lost. During the last two years she had become so independent and sure of herself and the world around her. Now it had been pulled out from under her again.  
  
Dawn came to sit on the table in front of Buffy. "Buffy, he also said that they had both fought for you but the Council just wouldn't listen. And he also said that Spike refused the paycheck at first but he realized that if he was going to live on the side of good that he had to make a living." She took a deep breath and continued. "Giles also said that they wanted to keep Spike in England for information but he wouldn't let them assign anyone else to work with me. That he had to keep his promise to protect me."  
  
Buffy looked up at her sister in surprise. Spike was giving up a cushy position to come back here to fight again, because of a promise that he had made her. Then she quickly squashed back the tiny spark of hope that was trying to grow. It was better not to believe.  
  
"When does this all this take effect?" Buffy asked.  
  
"They want me to start training with Spike tomorrow. But I don't have to do this if you don't want me to." Dawn told her sister. She hoped that Buffy would support her in this. Financially it would really help and Giles had told her that the Council would pay for her to go college. Plus she would be working with Spike! She just knew that Spike would be surprised at her abilities to fight. Tomorrow morning couldn't come any sooner to suit her.  
  
"No, you want this. And this way I know that you will be okay." Buffy smiled at her sister. Dawn always chafed at the bit at working with Buffy. Being independent of her and the older Scoobies would be a dream come true.  
  
"Guys, I am a little overwhelmed and need some time to think. So, I'm going to take a walk and clear my head." Buffy told the others.  
  
They all said good night and Xander and Anya left to head for their home. They hugged her several times before they actually made it to their car. Then Buffy headed down the street toward the cemetery. This had been a part of her for so long now she wasn't sure what she would do every night now. Her life had become routine. She felt content and happy but never overflowing with joy. The responsibilities that had lain on her shoulders had been huge at times but she had learned to deal with them. Giles had often told her how proud he was of her over the last two years.  
  
Buffy had become so lost in her thoughts that her subconscious must have led her to the one place that she wanted to be. To Spike's door. He had always been the one that could make her feel to the point where everything else came second place. He could drive away all her feelings of doubt and despair.  
  
She hesitated then knocked on his hotel room door. Then almost wished that she hadn't but before she could leave he yanked the door open.  
  
Surprised to see her he almost dropped the phone receiver he had propped against his ear. He quickly told whomever he was talking to goodbye then gestured her into the room.  
  
"What can I do for you, Luv?" He couldn't just let the earlier conversation go. After all this time she still had the ability to hurt him and make him feel like he was dirt.  
  
"I don't know. I was out walking and ended up here." She looked at everything but him. He was dressed in nothing but black silk pajamas sans the top and the same old reactions where coursing through her body.  
  
"Just like you used to. Whenever things got to be too much for you, you went gutter walking." Spike furnished for her bitterly. So, things hadn't changed that much for her after all. He walked over to the bar that occupied the corner of the room and poured him a glass of whiskey. Turning he offered her a glass. When she refused he took a generous swig of the amber liquid.  
  
Buffy forced herself to look him in the eye. "No, that's not the way it is. It's different than that. I just.I don't know. I just wanted." Giving up she looked away from him and sat on the edge of his bed.  
  
"What did you want? Someone to make you feel. If that's what you're looking for. I might be willing to play again. It's been a while since I've been with an animal like you." Spike taunted her deliberately using the expression that had hurt her so long ago. And it seemed to do the trick she looked up at him with startled hurt eyes. But she didn't leave or argue back with him. She just waited.  
  
Spike slowly walked over to the bed and reached out to pull her by the hands until she was standing again. Putting his hands on her waist he slowly moved them up the sides of her body taking a little more time as he moved them over her breasts. Then he pushed her coat back and down her arms until it fell on the floor. He watched her face waiting for some sign of his Buffy. But she just stood and stared at some point on his chest. Brushing back her hair he lowered his head to nuzzle her neck. Slowly moving his lips up he pulled her ear lobe into his mouth to suckle it.  
  
Having his dream back into his arms again was causing him to lose all thought. He pulled her body to his so that she could feel the immediate reaction that she caused in him. He moved his hand to cup her buttocks and pull her still closer. Turning his head so that he could cover her lips with his own. But as he went to open her mouth with his tongue she whimpered.  
  
Spike froze. "Buffy?"  
  
When he pulled back to look at her she buried her face in his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry. It's been a long time and I am not totally." She spoke into the crook of his neck so that he could barely hear her.  
  
"Why didn't you stop me sooner?" He took several step back needing the distance from her body. Then looking down at her he realized that she wouldn't have stopped him. She looked as if she was just waiting for someone to tell her what to do. The look of a woman that has been battered and hasn't learned how to fight back.  
  
"I had better go." Buffy stammered out reaching down to grab her coat. Not looking once at Spike she rushed out the door. She had never been so embarrassed in her life. After two years the love of her life was holding her and she couldn't be happy about it. She just stood there wondering when he would leave her again.  
  
Spike stood and stared at the door that Buffy had just left through in disbelief. Who was this woman? Not understanding what had happened to his Slayer he discarded his glass of whiskey and took a long drink straight from the bottle. When he was finished he put it back on the table he looked at it and laughed. Two days back and already Buffy was turning him inside out. As she drifted through his mind again he realized he couldn't just let her leave like this. He had to know what was going on with her.  
  
"Ahh, Bloody hell!" He scornfully said to no one as he rushed out the door to try to find Buffy. 


	8. The Fight

Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: This is a sequel to 'An Argument in a Bathroom'. It is now two years later and Spike has the upper hand. Will he use it for good or to exact revenge on those that hurt him? Rating: R Spoilers: Through season six  
  
Chapter 8 - The Fight  
  
At a full dash Spike rounded the corner leading to the Sunnydale Cemetery. He was following the sounds of fighting in the center of the graveyard. Catching up to the sounds he saw Buffy struggling with two large demons. From the looks of it she was losing the fight. Without thinking he jumped into the middle of the fray. Buffy looked over at him with relief and almost with rehearsed moves they quickly took out the two demons.  
  
Spike threw back his head and laughed. It felt so good to be back in the thick of things with Buffy by his side. As the adrenaline coursed through him he grabbed her by the waist and swung her around.  
  
"Oh, Buffy, now tell me that didn't feel good. Just makes you tingle all over!" He asked her.  
  
She had always gotten the 'Slayer high' after a good fight. As he put her back on her feet he realized that she wasn't laughing.  
  
"What good would it do me to enjoy it? I shouldn't even be out here doing this. I should become like everyone else and scream and wait and hope for someone to rescue me." She answered him angrily.  
  
"Now here comes my girl." Spike thought waiting for Buffy to really lay into him. But she turned to walk away.  
  
"Buffy wait." He called out to her as he ran toward her. Catching up he stepped in front of her. "I know it's not what you want. But you always wanted a normal life. This is your chance to be just a girl. Do what you want for a change. Maybe find some nice guy and have a family."  
  
Buffy looked up at him. Didn't he know that she would never have a normal life that all she wanted was to be with him?  
  
Buffy pushed pass him heading toward home. She just wanted to get away before she blurted out how she felt. Apparently, he had moved on and wanted her off with someone else so that he could take over what was her life. Doing her slaying with her little sister. Being in with the Council and having Giles as his boss.  
  
Spike darted forward to get around her again.  
  
"Come on, Buffy, talk to me. I know something is wrong. Maybe I can help you?"  
  
"Why do you think that you could help me?" Buffy continued to walk trying to ignore Spike as he walked backwards in front of her.  
  
"Because I used to be able to. I want to be your friend if you'll give me a chance." Spike stopped and put his hands on her shoulders so that she would look at him.  
  
"Oh, yes, I need a friend like you. You're taking over my life. Just move right in. Do you want the house, too? Next thing I know you'll take my friends, too." She cried plaintively.  
  
"Buffy, what happened to you? Before I left you would have punched me and told me where to get off. Now, all you can do is snivel and cry about it." He insulted her, hoping it would finally get a rise out of her.  
  
Buffy ducked her head and walked around Spike. She just wanted to get away from him. Just how far would he go to make sure that she knew that she was just an inconvenience to him? Buffy started to walk faster hoping that he would take the hint and leave her alone, but she could hear him coming after her again. He stayed one step behind her. Finally she turned around and looked at him.  
  
"What do you want? What do you want me to say?" She threw her arms up in the air.  
  
"I want to know what happened to make you so prickly. Not that you were ever warm and cuddly but never like this. It's like your just waiting for someone to knock you off." He took a step toward reaching his hand to touch her but she pulled away.  
  
"You want to know what happened." She took a step toward him looking into his eyes. A tear fell down her face. She didn't move this time as he brought his hand to brush it away. Buffy closed her eyes and leaned her face into his hand letting him caress it gently.  
  
"Yes, I want to know what happened to the Buffy I knew." He softly whispered to her.  
  
"You left." He had to lean closely to her to even hear her comment. A look of surprise and wonderment crossed his face as he leaned his head to the side to look down at her. She turned and walked away from him. This time he just stood and stared as she moved away from him. 


	9. Training

Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: This is a sequel to 'An Argument in a Bathroom'. It is now two years later and Spike has the upper hand. Will he use it for good or to exact revenge on those that hurt him? Rating: R Spoilers: Through season 6  
  
Chapter 9 - Training  
  
Spike slipped into the magic ship through the basement as he had done in the old days. Hearing voices in the main room of the shop he paused long enough to find out who was there. After discerning that it was Anya and Dawn he made his way up. As he stepped through the doorway he heard Buffy laugh. It was a deep laugh that seemed to come from deep inside her. It seemed that the girl wasn't always down. He wondered what had made her laugh so much and if he could figure out a way for her to laugh like that with him. But as he came into view of the three women Buffy stopped laughing and started to straighten paper on the counter. Dawn and Anya turned to look to him.  
  
"Hi Spike" Dawn smiled at him.  
  
Anya waved at him and smiled before turning to wait on a customer.  
  
"Sorry, I interrupted the party." Spike directed at Buffy.  
  
"That's okay. Dawn was just telling us about a vamp that she caught changing his clothes." Buffy looked shyly at him.  
  
"Oh, yeah Niblet. Was he surprised?" Spike smiled down at Dawn.  
  
"Yeah he was surprised. I don't think he expected to get dusted in the altogether." Dawn joked. "Maybe if his pants weren't around his ankles he could have gotten away."  
  
Spike laughed at the picture that Dawn was painting. He looked over at Buffy and she was smiling too. The laughter reached her eyes. God, it was good to see the Slayer happy. He realized that it just must be around him that she was unhappy. He knew that things had ended badly between them. He expected anger or resentment, but not this unhappiness and this air of expectation. Like she was just waiting for the next blow because that was her lot in life  
  
"Well, Dawn are you ready to start training?" He asked Dawn as they stopped laughing about the naked vampire. Dawn nodded her agreement and they turned to head toward the training room. Buffy kept her place at the counter and Spike turned to her.  
  
"I was thinking that maybe you could help. Show me where Dawn is at and give us some pointers on working together." He figured if he got her involved with the training she wouldn't feel so left out. That maybe she would begin to see him as less of a threat and more of a friend.  
  
Buffy was surprised at his invitation. She knew that he could totally cut her out but seemed willing to include her. As long as it wasn't pity she would help. After all she had been involved in Dawn's training all along and knew her strengths and weaknesses.  
  
The three of them proceeded to the training room. Spike had the two girls spar with one another observing Dawn. She had natural ability and grace in the fight. When Buffy would move one way Dawn effortlessly blocked her. But he could also see that Dawn just didn't have the stamina that the Slayer did. After awhile he could see that she was tiring and would soon make a mistake. In a real fight he knew that it would get her killed. He called to the sisters and told them to go ahead and stop.  
  
As Dawn sat down to rest Spike walked over to her. Kneeling next to her he gave her a bottle of water. She murmured thanks and twisted off the top. As she drank he talked to her about what he had observed. Buffy came over to them and sat on the other side of Dawn.  
  
"What do you suggest? I'm just not built like Buffy."  
  
"No, your not. But there are ways of building more stamina and get you quicker to the kill." Then he went into a plan to start building Dawn up. He wanted her to include running and weight lifting in her training.  
  
Dawn groaned and threw herself dramatically back on the floor.  
  
"You are going to kill me, ya know, Spike!" She whined.  
  
"No, I am going to try to keep you from being killed." Spike smiled down at the teenager. Then he looked over at Buffy. She was also smiling down at Dawn.  
  
Feeling his gaze on her she looked over at him. He smiled at her but she quickly looked away and stood up.  
  
"Well, if you guys don't need me anymore, I have some errands I need to do."  
  
Dawn opened her eyes and looked up at her sister. Spike stood up and then reached a hand down to help Dawn up.  
  
"No, I think we are done pretty much done here. I'll put together a schedule for Dawn to start tomorrow." Spike said.  
  
Buffy turned to walk out of the room leaving Dawn behind with Spike.  
  
"Spike, I just wanted to tell you thanks for everything. I don't think I could have done this with a stranger. And there is no way Buffy could have handled me patrolling with someone she didn't trust." Dawn had wanted to talk to Spike but hadn't known how to broach the subject.  
  
"Yeah, Buffy, is real happy to see me back." Spike sarcastically replied. He turned to Dawn and reached out to smooth back her hair. He remembered a time when he would have been too afraid to do that. But he was more comfortable around people and more self-assured. He no longer had to be on the outside looking in. And no matter what his heart told him, he wouldn't go back there again.  
  
He turned to pick up his notepad and pen.  
  
And then turning back to her he told her, "And you're welcome. But there was no way that I would let anyone else be your partner. They wouldn't realize your worth."  
  
Spike smiled at her and gestured for her to go ahead of him toward the door. But Dawn hesitated and he looked at her questioningly.  
  
"What is it? Spit it out. We need to be honest with each other." He looked down at his partner and waited.  
  
Dawn fidgeted for a few moments and then she just started in. Better to just get it out and worry about putting the pieces together later.  
  
"Spike, she IS happy that you are back, but she doesn't think that you care anymore. After all you didn't come back for her. You came back for this." Dawn rushed the words out and threw her arms open wide. "And when you left, you were so angry with her. She was kinda like broken for a long time. And she slept with your coat over her for a really long time and she hasn't even tried dating anyone since you've been gone."  
  
Dawn stopped realizing that she had broken Buffy's trust in an effort to get Spike to understand her sister. That Buffy had been unhappy for so long she was afraid to take a chance and reach out. She had to learn how to be strong and tough that she had forgotten how to be vulnerable. That when it came to men that they would say they loved her but would eventually leave. That when it came to Spike she would take whatever he dished out just so she could be near him as long as he wanted her. She wouldn't let herself dare hope for more because she would eventually be heartbroken.  
  
Spike looked down at the ground. He couldn't believe what Dawn was telling him. If it was true then that meant there might be hope. That the dream he nurtured in the furthest corner of his heart might come true. He hadn't wanted to give Buffy the edge by showing that he still cared. But if anyone would know Buffy's feelings then Dawn would. But if he tried and she rejected him like before then he didn't think he could stay in town. Not with Buffy sneering and laughing at him like before.  
  
When he looked up, Dawn was staring at him with hopeful eyes. She had as much stake in his and Buffy's relationship as they did. She had always wanted Spike to be a part of them. A big brother and a father rolled into one.  
  
"I don't know Dawn. I just don't know." As Dawn's face fell he sighed and knew that he had to at least try. For all of them, he would have to play the vulnerable one. "Okay, I'll come by tonight. I'm not promising anything but we'll see how it goes."  
  
Dawn squealed and threw her arms around him. She hugged him and kept telling him thank you over and over again. Tonight she knew that everything would be all right and they would be the family they should be. 


	10. Happily Ever After, Well Maybe

Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: This is a sequel to 'An Argument in a Bathroom'. It is now two years later and Spike has the upper hand. Will he use it for good or to exact revenge on those that hurt him? Rating: R Spoilers: Through season 6  
  
Chapter 10 - Happily Ever After, Well Maybe  
  
Spike once again found himself hesitating outside the Summer's front door. He still wasn't sure of what he was going to say. If he wanted to say anything at all. He sighed and reached his hand up to knock. But before he could connect with the wood the door was thrown open and Dawn and Willow came rushing out. Dawn nearly pushing him aside in her hurry to leave.  
  
"Hi, Spike, we are headed to the movies. Buffy is in the living room. See ya later." Dawn reached back for Willow's hand to pull her along.  
  
Willow hesitated stopping Dawn in her tracks. She reached up and kissed Spike on the cheek. "Good luck!" She whispered in his ear. He looked at her in astonishment. Dawn must have told her everything to get her out of the house tonight. He watched them take off down the street.  
  
Since Dawn had left the front door open he stepped into the house. He made his way into the living room where Buffy was sitting on the couch clicking the remote through the channels on the television. She looked up at him as he stepped into the room.  
  
"I brought Dawn's schedule for her." He placed a packet of papers on the table next to the couch. He had been glad of the excuse to come over but he now looked nervously around not sure what to do next.  
  
Buffy stood up and walked over toward him. She reached out and looked briefly through the papers he had brought then she laid them back down.  
  
"Dawn said that you wanted to talk to me about something important." Buffy looked up at him. Actually Dawn had told her that she couldn't go with her and Willow tonight. That she had to get things settled with Spike. Than until they made peace things would continue to be uncomfortable. And then she had laid on the guilt telling her that if she was always worried about Buffy and Spike then she could get hurt out there. But Dawn had given her the opening by saying that Spike wanted to talk too.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it's time for us to act like adults. We need to talk." He told her throwing it back at her. "Can we sit down and do it though."  
  
"Of course." Buffy stepped back and made her way back to the couch. She sat on one end and gestured for him to sit on the other. Spike came and sat. For the next few moments neither said a word. They both sat and tried to figure out what to say. Finally Spike broke the silence.  
  
"Why didn't you try to find me?" He shifted so that he was facing her. One arm rested across the back of the couch.  
  
"I didn't think you wanted me to." She spoke softly looking down at her hands.  
  
"Did you think that because I was angry that I didn't care anymore."  
  
Buffy noticed that he wasn't using the word love anymore. He used to tell her all the time how much he loved her and now it seemed like he didn't love her anymore. She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes and continued to look at her hands. But a tear slipped from her eye and dropped down on her hands.  
  
Spike groaned and reached out to her. He knew that his feelings for her hadn't changed and they never would. Buffy would always be the one. Drusilla had always taken him to new depths of evil, but Buffy was the one who took him to new heights. He would always be on bended knee for her.  
  
Buffy was startled as Spike began to scoot toward her. But she didn't move away. She looked up at him as the tears broke through. She turned toward him and burrowed herself into his side. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on hers as she sobbed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Spike. For everything. I wish you had never gone away." She whispered through her tears. "Please, don't leave me again. I'll do anything that you want. Just don't leave me alone again."  
  
Spike began to stiffen as she spoke these words to him. Buffy was begging him to stay. And he knew that she meant it. She would take anything from him just so long as he didn't leave. But this wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want a woman clinging to him, constantly afraid that he would leave. Even if it was Buffy. He wanted a partner. Someone who would stand beside him and trust him to protect her. He wouldn't even mind having those fights again as long as they led to the passionate lovemaking they used to have.  
  
He had stayed quiet for too long. Buffy pulled back so that she could see him. His eyes were so sad.  
  
"What Spike? What did I do wrong?" Buffy reached up to turn his face toward her. She knew something was wrong and that Spike was going to leave again.  
  
Spike gently pulled himself away from her and stood. She followed him up her hands reaching out for him. But he stepped back away from her. He could see her beginning to crumple and knew he had to leave quickly before he gave in.  
  
"Buffy, I love you. That will never change." He put his hand up as she started to interrupt him. "But I don't want you to be resigned to be with me. I don't want to be the one that made you stop being lonely. I want someone who will joyfully be with me. I need a woman that is confident in my love for her. Not someone who is always afraid that I will take it away if she doesn't behave right."  
  
The pain was beginning to choke him. She looked so broken standing there. He turned and quickly left the house before he did something that would destroy them both.  
  
Buffy watched him walk out the door. She fell to the floor sobbing. He always left just like the others. This was her destiny to always be left behind. 


	11. His Choice

Title: Spike's Choice  
  
Author: Mrs Muir and Slayer's Gift Disclaimer: We own nothing it all belongs to the great and powerful Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: This is a sequel to 'An Argument in a Bathroom'. It is now two years later and Spike has the upper hand. Will he use it for good or to exact revenge on those that hurt him? Rating: R Spoilers: Through season 6  
  
Chapter 11 - His Choice  
  
Buffy lay on the floor sobbing. The familiar pain wrapped around her like an old friend. Somehow she just wasn't enough for any man to want to stay. Spike said he loved her but he didn't stay.  
  
She slowly made her way to her feet. This wasn't the first time she had been left but it would be the last. She wiped the tears from her face and resolved herself not to cry anymore. She was not going to be pitied by her friend's because she had another collision on her highway of love. When they asked her what had gone wrong she would stoically tell them that Spike loved her but she couldn't accept it. As the thought went through her mind she realized that was exactly what the problem was. Spike LOVED her. Buffy. He had always loved her and always would. She just had to be happy about it.  
  
"You are such an idiot sometimes!" She said aloud as she smacked herself on the forehead. She quickly locked up the house and took off at a run to find Spike. After running a couple of blocks she spotted him ahead of her.  
  
"Spike! Spike, stop!" She yelled but he kept walking. She didn't know if it was because he didn't hear her or didn't want to stop. But this time she wasn't letting him get away. She hollered louder at him to stop. She started running faster toward him. Finally he stopped but he didn't turn around.  
  
Spike stood still as she caught up to him and came around so that she was facing him. He didn't say a word just stood looking at her. Buffy reached a hand up to caress his cheek. He had been crying.  
  
"I'm sorry Spike." She told him gently.  
  
"Yeah, you said that already." He tried to walk around her but she put her hands on his arms to stop him.  
  
"Please listen to me."  
  
Sighing he looked down at her then looked away from her pleading face. Why was she making it so hard on him?  
  
"Spike, I love you. I've always loved you but I was too stupid to admit it. And I know that you love me. Please don't leave!" She took her hands from his arms to hold his face making him look down at her.  
  
"And just how do you know that I love you?" He had to be sure. She still didn't look too happy about all this.  
  
Buffy hesitated trying to find the exact words to make him believe. When she hesitated he snorted and tried to walk away again.  
  
"Damn it, Spike. Give me a chance. Just hear me out then walk away." Buffy demanded blocking his way. Her hands positioned on her hips.  
  
"What Buffy? You can't even come up with one thing that shows that I love you!" He was tired of playing and just wanted to be alone. Once again he started to walk away.  
  
"Because there aren't any buts in your eyes." She didn't know where that came from but she was glad it did. It made him stop and turn around.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Because when you look at me there aren't any buts in your eyes." Now that it was there she realized with relief that this was not only her proof he loved her but one of the reasons she loved him. "I don't have to be anything but be who I am and you love me." She continued. "With my Dad he loved me as long as I was a good little girl. Angel loved me as long as I was the Slayer and not a girl with dreams of a prince. Riley loved me as long as I was the young girl with dreams and not the Slayer."  
  
As the tears ran down her face she stepped toward Spike again. Looking up at him she reached out and put his hands on her hips.  
  
"You, Spike, you love me as the Slayer, as a girl with dreams, weak or strong, you love me. You even love me when I am a depressed mess and push you away." She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to pull him down toward her. "Stay with me."  
  
Spike looked down at her and resisted her efforts to kiss him. She was saying all the right words but there was still the tears. He wanted her to be happy but maybe it would come in time. He pulled her arms down and stepped back. Knowing that she was feeling rejected he reached out to run his fingers through her hair. He knew that she waiting for him to decide. For his choice. To stay with her or to leave. Hoping he wasn't making a mistake he told her that he would stay. That they would try to make it work.  
  
Then his dreams came true. She smiled slowly. It quickly turned into a grin that transformed her face. Her eyes lit up with the power of her joy. Then he couldn't believe it she was quivering from her toes to her head. He reached out a hand to make sure his eyes were right. Her whole being was full of the happiness and love she felt.  
  
He melted and pulled her into a kiss. The Slayer and Vampire met in a kiss that joined their hearts and souls. She moved closer then took a jump, wrapping her legs around him in an effort to be closer. They were so lost in each other they didn't notice the car pulling up beside them and were startled as a voice told them to get a room. Spike looked at the kids and started to say something as they drove away. But his thoughts were interrupted as Buffy laughed at them. She turned his face back toward her and kissed him quickly. Then she let go falling back into the air her legs still around Spike. But she knew she wouldn't fall. Spike would catch her and he always would. 


End file.
